A Wife, an Affair, and Hypnosis:
How Changing Perspective Saved a Marriage
​by Debi Livingston, BCH, CI, OB -- Education Director, Maine Chapter of NGH

​When I answered the phone the first thing I heard was “if I have a hypnosis session with you will my husband stop having an affair?”  I said “probably not” and she replied “then why the HELL would I go see you?”  She was angry! My response was “well, you called me, I didn’t call you, and now you have my attention so let me tell you a bit about hypnosis.”
     I explained that if she were to work with me it wouldn’t automatically have her husband stop seeing someone else. But, hypnosis CAN help her change how she chooses to react and respond to this situation in her daily life. Begrudgingly, she scheduled a series of sessions. I had to keep reminding her that she called me, I was not forcing her into seeing me.
     She was very clear from the beginning, neither she nor her husband wanted to get a divorce. That was the platform for our work together. The first session, after the preliminary first session steps of the Pre-Talk, suggestibility tests, etc, I focused on simply helping her to let go.
     She started to let go of the anger, the sadness, the pain, the fear. She started to let go of the “all the years I’ve dropped everything for myself to be there for him”  feelings. During the positive suggestion management part of the session, I started offering very simple, very basic suggestions for her to start wrapping her mind around. Usually, our clients will tell us exactly what they want to hear for suggestions and change, but this client was not able to think of one positive thought for herself.
     I wasn’t sure if she was ready to accept anything positive at all into her subconscious mind so I offered simple suggestions such as; anytime your husband is away for the night you’ll find something pleasant to do just for you . . . every day more and more you experience less and less uncomfortable feelings about yourself and your life today until sooner than you realize you are free from all discomfort . . .
     I was somewhat surprised when she returned for her second session. She said the nights she was alone she started binge-watching a series on TV she had always wanted to see but they always watched whatever her husband chose. She was elated that she finally watched the show. For that second session she explored within her subconscious mind the different hobbies and things she used to enjoy doing and left that session all excited to go to the craft store. Remember, divorce was not an option and after the first two sessions, the affair was still happening.
     On our third session she said her husband was starting to notice subtle changes in her and she admitted she had been working with a hypnotist. For that session I helped her fall in love with herself by giving her permission to “let love flow.” This is such a powerful healing modality. Oftentimes I’ll hear “I’m not in a relationship. I can’t let love flow,” which is exactly WHY love needs to flow. I explain it’s to learn how to start loving yourself no matter what type of relationship you’re in, which can be a very foreign idea for many people. Love myself? Absurd! That day, my client left on cloud nine.
     Our fourth and final session together she said her husband was re-thinking his affair. He was  still involved, but he was starting to wonder . . . why? On that session I guided her into her subconscious mind and had her find the original picture of when she fell in love with her husband. She dusted off the picture, started sobbing, and simply allowed the love she still had for him to flow freely. She let herself admit she still loved him deeply. Before she left that day, she told me she always loved her husband, but never until now, did she ever consider to love herself. That was her big “ah ha” realization in our time together.
      A few months later I received a postcard from Europe. My client and her husband had renewed their vows and were on their second honeymoon -- thirty-something years after getting married!
     Remember this true fact about hypnosis: it won’t change the world, but it can definitely change how we choose to react and respond to the world around us!

Blessings and thank you for taking the time to read this article!

​Why Doesn’t the Law of Attraction and Abundance Work for Everyone?
by Debi Livingston, BCH, BI -- Education Director, Maine Chapter of NGH

This is a valid question that often goes unanswered. In a nutshell, the Law of Attraction IS
always working, it’s simply the individual(s) are attracting all things negative based on their
thinking.
     I was working with a client with my Abundant Living ProgramTM. On our first day together I
asked her what she wanted. "World peace," she replied. OK, I said, but I don’t think you’ll get
that in the time we have together, can you think of something else? She thought for a bit then
said, "I’m always praying to keep my children and grandchildren safe and healthy." Well, that’s
nice, too, and I’m sure your kids appreciate your prayers, but what do YOU want for yourself?
She was stumped. And then she started to cry. Then she told me that she’s never been able to
ask for anything personal and when she prays, it’s always for other people.
     I asked her what she felt emotionally when she thought of praying for herself. Guilt.
     I asked her what she felt emotionally when she wanted to manifest something for herself. Guilt
and unworthiness. Her truth; she’s never believed it was okay to want something just for her.
And that’s why she was working with me, to break the cycle of lack and limitation so she could
manifest abundance in her life.
     Wanting something and believing you can have something are two different things. I discovered
this when I first started my journey with manifestation and the Mind Sciences in 1981. I was in
a class learning how to "mock-up" or manifest things in life. The techniques and concepts were
simple and made perfect sense to me. I was excited that soon I’d have all the things I wanted to
make my life more comfortable. I started with easy things like a free cup of coffee. Lo and
behold, a few days after practicing the exercise, I was invited out for a cup of coffee. I knew I
was onto something now!
     At the time my only mode of transportation was a ten-speed bike. The rainy season was
drawing near so I sat down one day and mocked-up a new car. I was seeing the car, imagining I
was driving the car, looking forward to receiving my new car. I just wasn’t paying attention to
the small voice inside of me saying "no way, you can’t have this for free," which created a
feeling of doubt I was ignoring. What could go wrong? I was applying the information exactly
as I had been taught.
     The next time class met everyone was sharing their experiences. A student was all excited
because she had been given a new car. A car much nicer than the one she already had. A car that
was very similar to the car I had mocked-up for myself. I didn’t get a car, but she did. I actually
burst into tears and blurted out "you got my car and you don’t even need one!" Our teacher used
my experience as the object lesson for class that night.
     I discovered my subconscious mind was acting on a deep-rooted belief system of lack,
limitation, and no permission to increase or bring new things into my life. Not only did I
feel guilty if I asked for something for myself, I didn’t believe I could have things that easily. I
had to work hard for whatever I received.
     This was a two-fold imprint in my subconscious mind. One aspect was the thoughts and
feelings I was carrying deep within me that stemmed from my childhood and the conversations
I heard my parents talking/fighting about over money; money doesn’t grow on trees, only
certain people get ahead in life. . . . you get the idea.
     The other aspect was based in religion. It wasn’t spiritual to want things. Don’t be greedy.
Don’t be selfish. Always think of the other person first. To be spiritual meant you shouldn’t
have money or nice things. Has anyone reading this article ever experienced something similar?
What about you as a hypnotist? Do you have a difficult time creating a picture for what you
want to experience in your business? Do you feel guilty if you ask for something or pray for
yourself and not others? Do you say you want certain things but deep down don’t believe you
can have them? This can be anything: health, finances, relationships, or a successful hypnosis
business.
     As hypnotists, I believe it’s important we live what we teach. I had to learn how to expand my
Container of Consciousness to accept the abundance I rightly deserve. If you’re struggling with
Imposter Syndrome or feel "guilty" for raising your rates, find another hypnotist who can help
you clean out those imprints of lack, limitation, and struggle. Your business will prosper and you
will be better equipped to help your clients!
     Peace and blessings to all who read this article.

by Debi Livingston BCH, CI -- Education Director, Maine Chapter of NGH

Both actually. When people call me asking if hypnosis will help their issue, they are usually
thinking in terms of getting fixed quick; they want the presenting problem to go away as fast as
it can. Initially, they may not be interested in investing lots of time or money into getting help
because they’ve already been down that road with other therapies.
     What I explain to people is this: Hypnosis is a great modality to end unhealthy, unwanted
habits and a wonderful tool for behavior modification. A client walks in as a smoker and leaves
a non-smoker. The client with fears or phobias ends the session able to get on the plane, drive
over a bridge, or hike in the woods where there might be a snake or spider. In this aspect,
hypnosis is a quick fix and for many, the only fix they will need.
     However, one of the questions I ask my potential new client is how long they have been
indulging in the habit they no longer want, or living with the fear that has kept them locked
down? If we looked at the presenting problem as an egg, this would be the outer shell. Inside
that shell is the source of life to their problems: Low self-esteem, lack of confidence, being an
abuse or rape victim, fear, or guilt. The habit is how they have been coping with the real issue.
The habit has been the band-aide to get them through the day. This is when hypnosis should be
used as a longer process.
     Your subconscious mind is the storehouse of memory for all your life experiences, both good
and bad. At some point in time, usually when you were young, something happened to you that
went into your subconscious mind and became the initial imprint for the problem you are
dealing with today. Why are you self-conscious? What is the cause for such low self-esteem?
What was the start of the anger issues? Only by going into your subconscious mind, via
hypnosis, can the initial imprint be targeted and released.
     So I tell the new client, hypnosis is a process. You can leave my office after one visit feeling
great and ready to tackle the immediate challenge at hand, but realize you didn’t just wake up
one day with low self-esteem, anger issues, or poverty consciousness. This way of thinking,
feeling, and behaving took time to become the foundation for who you believe yourself to be.
And if you really want to create positive, permanent change in your life, I suggest you commit
to a hypnosis program. And although a program will involve four or more sessions, it won’t be
a "this-will-never-end-cycle" of constantly going over the same situations in your mind again
and again, as in classical talk therapy.
     You’ll be able to release the source of the problems and all other contributing factors and then
replenish your subconscious mind with the new thoughts, feelings and actions of how you want
to be living your life. You’ll learn how to retrain your brain and change your perspective on
how you choose to respond to the world around you.
     Potential new clients get pretty excited when they learn they can take back control over their
life and become the person they’ve always yearned to be in just a few months and not years
invested in therapy. And of course, they always have a choice. That’s what freedom is all about.
So which is it for you, a quick fix or longer process? Find a hypnotist in your area. Create the
life you want!
​
Blessings to all who wander by to read this post. Thank you for sharing this with your friends!

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